When it comes to your self-worth, only one opinion truly matters that is your own opinion, even that one should be carefully evaluated: we tend to be our own harshest critics.
One thing that has held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure and the lack of self-confidence.
Its something we all face, to some degree, I think the key question is how do you overcome that fear?
Here are some ways to boost your esteem, the list isn’t comprehensive, they are just somethings that worked out for me, you don’t have to do all of them pick and choose those that appeal to you.
Get to Know Yourself.
Your enemy is yourself. get to know yourself better:
- Start listening to your thoughts
- Start writing a journal about yourself
- The thoughts you have about yourself
Analyzing why you have such a negative thoughts. And then think of the good things about yourself, the things you do well, things you like, your limitations and whether they are real or ones that you have allowed to be placed there artificially, dig deeper and you will come out with even greater self-confidence. BE POSITIVE
Despite thinking positive you have to put in action. action is the key of developing self-Confidence.Its one thing to learn to think positively but another when you start acting on it, you change yourself step by step. you are what you do, so if you change what you do , you also change who you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of saying you can’t, talk to people in a positive way , put energy in your actions and you will soon start to see the difference
SAY STOP TO YOUR INNER CRITIC
Learn how to deal with your inner voice, everyone has one, the voice of your own critic. It whispers or shouts destructive thought like :
- you are lazy and snoopy
- you are not good in your job
- you are ugly
You don’t have to accept it thou, there are ways to minimize the critics :
SAY STOP!STOP!, NO!NO! WE NOT GOING THERE AGAIN.
Then focus on something constructive like what you want to eat for dinner or your tactic for the next swimming class. It helps a lot of ways to motivate yourself than listening to your inner critic.
MOVEMENT AND EXERCISE
Moving your body helps you improve your mood. Ever since I started working out my mood and attitude about very many things changed. It has been one of my most empowering activities in the past few months and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
“Always make your haters your biggest motivators”
I always feel much better the instant I smile and helps me be kinder to others. when you smile to another person a genuine or warm smile you tell the other person that they are attractive, likeable, safe secure and pleasant. A single smile is so powerful that it can often transform a person with Low Self-Esteem, jolting them from negativity to a person with a positive attitude.
Is there someone in your life that you havent forgiven? An ex partner? A family member? Yourself ?. By holding on to feelings of bitterness or resentment, we keep ourselves stuck in a cycle of negativity. If we haven’t forgiven ourselves, Shame will keep us in this same loop.
“ Forgiving self and others has been found to improve self-esteem,” says Schiraldi.
BE KIND TO PEOPLE
When you are kinder towards others you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too. And the way you treat other people is how they tend to treat you in the long run.so focus on being kind in your daily life. The kind things you can do to people.
- Saying Good morning to someone standing next to you in the elevator.
- Hold up the door for the next person.
- Let someone into your lane while driving.
- Encourage a friend or a family member when they are uncertain or unmotivated.
- Take a few minutes help someone out in a practical way.
- Take time to direct someone who is lost even thou you are in a hurry
TRY SOMETHING NEW
When you try something new, you challenge yourself in big or small ways, if you go out of your comfort zone the opinion about yourself goes up.So go outside of your comfort zone regularly. Don’t expect anything, just tell yourself that you will try something out. And then later on you can do the same thing a few more times and improve your own performance.And as always, if it feels too scary or uncomfortable then don’t beat yourself up. Take a smaller step forward instead by gently nudging yourself into motion.Try new things:
- Change your wardrobe
- Change your diet
- Go for yoga classes
- Go for swimming
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”– Harvey Fierstein
Learn how to say no and teach others to respect your boundaries.
When you don’t like yourself, it’s easy to assume others won’t like you either. You may find you go out of your way to help others as you feel it’s the only way they’ll like you. It can make you feel even worse if this help isn’t reciprocated.
A good deed is great but over stretching yourself to please others can leave you with less energy to focus on yourself and can affect your mental health.
You could try the following to increase your confidence:
- learn to say “no” – take a breath before automatically agreeing to do something you don’t want to
- set boundaries around how much you do for other people
- take control of your own decisions
At first you might find it difficult to break these habits but making small changes to be more assertive can feel liberating and gets easier the more you do it.
DRESS NICELY AND GROOM YOURSELF
It might sound so obvious but it’s amazing how a shower can change how you feel. if you dress nicely you will feel great about yourself. you will feel presentable, succesful and ready to tackle the world. dressing means something different to everyone. doesn’t mean wearing $1000 clothes, but could mean wearing presentable and clean clothes.
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU
Spend time with people who love you and treat you the way you want to be treated, this will boost your self-confidence and help you feel good about yourself.
I try to remind myself it’s ok not to be perfect. My family remind me of the things I’ve done right – this really helps.
LEARN TO LIVE THE MOMENT
When you start living the moment, you tend to make decisions consciously and wisely. These conscious decisions and actions help you raise your self-esteem.Your self esteem is a measure of how worthy you think you are. Dont look outward for affirmations, set your own expectations of who you should be and then do all you can to live up to those expectations. you have it in you to be the person you can be proud of.
Commit to it and go become that person